Can I marry a sex worker
All the free types I deal with as a sex worker
Illustration: Dan Evans Regardless of whether it is storming or snowing, recession or a booming economy - sex work is always in demand. And it happens everywhere: whether in luxury hotels with underfloor heating and bulging minibars or in dark side streets full of cigarette butts and used condoms. It happens all the time, even if we - as a society - don't talk about it too often.
When we talk about it, we are usually talking about the workers. Regardless of whether it is because they are arrested and sent to internment camps, or because a windy entrepreneur wants to open a café where you can get a blow job with your coffee. What we hardly talk about, however, are the people who keep the sex workers busy: the suitors.
To learn a little more about this side of the business, I asked Sarah, a 22 year old escort and blogger, to educate me about all categories of her clientele.
These are the socially strong customers, those who are very self-confident and usually have a demanding job. Lawyers, business people, and celebrities, for example. People who like to talk about how much power they have.
They either want to get an ego boost in the session or to be crushed. These are the customers who often want to be dominated. They lead a high-performance lifestyle and can wield absolute power over other people, so they want - behind closed doors - to be put down and demoralized. It's just the opposite of how everyone else treats them on a daily basis. For example, many power customers want to be penetrated. Or they want me to take advantage of them financially and ask me to ask them about incredibly expensive gifts. I have a ton of expensive shoes that I don't even like — all from customers with foot fetishes.
I've noticed that when it comes to sex, customers usually want the opposite of what they're used to in everyday life. For example, the "party customer" is the opposite of the "power customer". These men want to have someone else completely at their disposal, at least for a short period of time. The power customer will automatically have this dominance in his social environment and in his professional life, whereas the party customer longs for it in his fantasies.
Most of the time he's a reckless party animal: he loves coke, alcohol, looks pretty confident on the outside, but really isn't. Basically yes - you can always tell from the stories you hear about brawls in clubs - but this self-confidence only comes to light after a corresponding dose of alcohol and drugs. After a few lines, he walks out of the bathroom as a self-confident mixture of an 80s porn star and a reality TV actor.
He asks what is possible so that he can then try to push the limits. It seems like the list of things you definitely don't want to do is some kind of personal challenge for him that he wants to win at all costs. "I'm sure you will like it," he says then. "What if I pay you more for it? Or give you a better rating?" The answer is still "no".
The guy with the bad conscience
So those were the two main categories, but there are a few rarer ones that pop up every now and then. This includes, for example, the guy who suddenly changes his mind because he has a guilty conscience. I recently had a client, around 35, who came to me with a large hat on. When he was in the room, he double-checked that the door is really locked - totally paranoid. We were just in the middle of it when he suddenly jumped up and shouted: "Stop! I can't do that." I asked if it was up to me and he said, "No, I'm married. I think about my wife all the time."
The next time you need an adrenaline rush, maybe you should just take your wife to play paintball instead of going to a sex worker ...
The guy who thinks he's Richard Gere from 'Pretty Woman'
These men dream of saving a woman of the night and giving her a better life. Probably because she pisses off the idea that I could be a good girl just for her. The last of these clients told me he was training me to be a real estate agent so that "I don't have to do that anymore".
The thing is, I'd rather choke on my own spit than drive around in a little Smart all day trying to convince people to put all their money in apartments they find terrible anyway.
Guys who are supposed to get married the next morning
These customers book a hotel room with me as the grand finale of their bachelorette party. Often they also make a double reservation for themselves and their best man. They openly admit that this is their bachelorette party and sometimes even show me photos of their future wives.
The guy who just doesn't have it and wants his money back
Going to a sex worker can be very intimidating for some men - we have a lot of experience, but they may not - which can negatively affect their performance. Some can laugh at it if they can't get up because of their nervousness and then leave, but others actually ask for their money back. Obviously that's not how it works; we are not lawyers who are only paid if they win the case for their client.
The guy who doesn't get sex at all
Your partner may have recently died, or they may just have been in a long-term relationship and have not yet gotten to grips with the idea of modern data. Or they are happy with every aspect of their marriage or relationship except sex. There are a lot of people out there who say, "I absolutely love my wife and I want to spend my life with her, but I don't want to have sex with her."
There are actually so many people who say this that I'll think twice about getting married.
If a man is around 20 and has never had sex, the social pressure can just be too much for him. Sometimes the guys come with friends who pay them to visit me so that their buddy finally loses his virginity. Meanwhile, you stand outside the door and cheer when your deflowered friend comes out again. Every prostitute has seen this before. Sometimes I wonder how many men have lost their virginity in this way.
There was this one man who was around 50 years old and came to see me regularly. When I first saw him, I thought he'd want the full program for sure, but he said, "I just want to lie down next to you and cuddle, if that's OK? And maybe we could hang out a little longer after that talked about the day. " He was a widower who simply missed this connection with a person and the everyday and physical contact. Or that moment when both of you feel the same way and just want to lie next to each other. These are always the toughest situations, because even if you want to satisfy their need, you want them to go out and find someone who can offer them that in real life.
The customer with the dark side
These men, in my opinion, have perverse sexual tendencies. To express their fantasies would be social suicide for them - for example, it is about men who are turned on when you dress like a little girl as a prostitute or when the room you do it in looks like a child's room. Most women in my industry wouldn't, but it does happen.
The guy whose wife bursts into the room right in the middle
The agencies that refer us often get calls from women who say, "My husband calls here all the time." They know the scenario all too well and then claim they are an employment agency. However, some women are particularly stubborn and do not just allow themselves to be brushed off; they pursue their unfaithful husband to the place where the deed is done. And then you have to deal with angry, broken hearted women standing outside your door screaming.
Once, in a downtown apartment with a middle-aged customer, I was in the middle of things when the intercom suddenly began to hum. We were both naked and fully involved. Usually that means the agency made an appointment with two people, but when I called the lady to inquire, she said it did not happen in this case. So I answered the intercom. There was a woman's voice who said "Hello" the whole time. The guy, now fully dressed, ran through the back door and fled into his car, which he'd parked in front of a supermarket nearby. That is why we always advise our customers not to park their car directly in front of the building where we are meeting, but a little further away.
The gay guy who wants to know if maybe he's bi
This category isn't too common, but it's definitely one of them. Sometimes they find out they are bi, sometimes they don't.
The guy who pays a worryingly high amount
A customer who pays a lot of money is good, but sometimes it goes too far and you question their behavior. It is rare for a regular customer to meet just one girl. So if you spend a huge amount on meeting me every week, you have to leave a huge chunk of money in the agency all in all. Mostly these are the men who want to try to satisfy you and have no wishes themselves. She satisfies the idea that you have a beautiful woman with you who will totally please you in the bedroom.
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