How do people get dead inside
Inner emptiness: why we sometimes feel empty
Actually, on the surface, you could be satisfied. Other people would certify that, because you have everything: you have a job, you have friends, you are in a relationship, you go on vacation from time to time and everything is just babbling around. And yet you have more frequent moments in which you are feel empty. In which you wonder what's wrong. Everything is right with you. Read here why we sometimes feel empty.
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How empty expresses itself
When it comes to understandWhere feeling empty comes from, it must first be clear how it expresses itself. This is about feelings and thoughts like:
- You wonder what you do for who you are.
- You wonder about the meaning (in your life).
- You feel incomplete (even with a partner by your side).
- You often have negative thoughts.
- They seek self-affirmation from others such as friends and family.
- You often feel alone even though you have friends.
- You cannot describe feelings in concrete terms.
These thoughts and feelings can be frightening because of course they make you brood: Why do I feel alone when I have a partner / friends / family? Just this one Inconsistency can even lead to fear of this feeling.
Inner emptiness can be compared to hunger - only it's not physical, it's emotional hunger. For example, those who feel lonely may long for a love affair. Even if you are in a relationship it can happen - for example because the relationship you are having is unsatisfactory, you are emotionally "starving".
These feelings are not that rare. It is not for nothing that there are phrases such as “starve to death on your outstretched arm”. You may feel empty here too caused by fearnever being able to find the feeling of fulfillment.
Feeling empty: sayings and quotes
- You can unconsciously know a lot by just feeling it but not knowing it. (Fyodor Michailowitsch Dostoevsky)
- It is not just being alone that makes you lonely, but the feeling of being alone. (Unknown)
- Everyone sees what you seem. Few feel who you are. (Niccolò Machiavelli)
- We should not read words, but rather the person we feel behind the words. (Samuel Butler)
- You can close your eyes if you don't want to see something, but you can't close your heart if you don't want to feel something. (Johnny Depp)
- Most of all, you feel struck by the truth that you wanted to hide from yourself. (Friedl bag skirt)
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Can't feel anything: where it comes from
The feeling of inner emptiness can feel like a vacuum, a gap or even a black holethat apparently soaks everything in. And that is often difficult for those affected to endure, so they actually try to plug this hole.
Some people who often feel empty turn to tobacco, food, alcohol, drugs - excessive consumption of things that are supposed to remove that feeling. Or you compensate with work, throw yourself into various (often unhappy) relationships so that you don't have to endure this feeling.
You should be aware that emptiness is a state of lack. Inner emptiness becomes common in psychology causal in childhood seen. Many people who describe this feeling had too little attention and care in their childhood, so that the feeling could arise that they were not good enough.
People who feel empty ...
- may have had the experience in childhood that they were never allowed to be themselves: They always became criticized, punished or beaten and they were told how to be. In the course of these experiences, they are later very adapted so as not to offend and to avoid stress.
- may have experienced abuse. Victim of abuse often describe the feeling of inner emptiness. Feeling empty helps cover up feelings of guilt and shame.
- are possibly in a well-off, but still very cold hearted family grew up in which there was no place for security and joie de vivre. There was no stress, no trauma, but also no love and no interest.
So the main reason is often one of some kind Lack of emotional attachment and love at a time when it would have been essential. This can lead to you dragging this feeling around with you well into adulthood, for example, and doing everything you can to avoid it.
Inner emptiness and sad: when inner emptiness turns into depression
Even if there is no massive trauma from childhood, the inner emptiness can be perceived as so stressful that those affected develop depression or even thoughts of suicide. Likewise, people feel that completely overworked and exhausted are empty and sad inside
Depression and burnout as a result of Problems at work should also be considered as possible causes. The compensation described above can lead to a dependency, leading to someone becoming addicted to alcohol or drugs.
Therefore, it is important to pay due attention to this feeling, especially if it occurs frequently.
Overcoming Inner Emptiness: What You Can Do
In order to overcome the inner emptiness, you have to find out for yourself what exactly it isyou miss. Do you lack a sense of belonging? Is it about interpersonal relationships or are you generally looking for more meaning and meaning in your life?
If you can identify the cause, you can target the problem as well. Sometimes stuck in reality another feeling behind it, maybe anger or disappointment.
There are a few things to keep in mind to learn how to deal with the feeling of emptiness:
Be more conscious about yourself.
This is about mindfulness. Concentrate on yourself again, be aware of things, such as smells, the wind in your hair or the warmth of the sun's rays on your skin. It is important that you regain your inner balance - you can achieve this, for example, with a warm, fragrant bath. This not only stimulates the senses, but also relieves tension and mobilizes.
Be grateful for what you have, your health, your work, your roof over your head and much more. Learn to appreciate what is supposed to be taken for granted. The feeling of gratitude is a powerful feeling that can heal that of the emptiness inside. Research shows that people who are grateful often have broad horizons. They get a bigger picture of themselves, which enables them to have better social skills and contacts.
Reach out to others.
Everyone has specific needs. The only difficult thing is the idea that they will never be fulfilled. However, to do this you also need to take the initiative. For example, if you feel alone, you can't wait for someone to knock on your door. You have to take action in that you have to address other people who may be similar. To a certain extent, joint ventures and society have to be worked out.
Activate your senses.
Similar to the concept of mindfulness, but one step further. Maybe you have a musical instrument that you find interesting? Or if you are not making music yourself, then maybe you can relax with music and let your thoughts flow? A creative activity like painting can also be stimulating and meaningful. Anyone who has difficulty getting to know people or who just lacks the strength / desire to do so can buy a pet. Dogs and cats in particular have a very good sense of human emotions and the sensual experience of soft fur often works wonders. Walks in the great outdoors also have a positive effect on the mind.
Try something new.
According to neurobiological studies, learning something new has a stimulating effect on the emotions, much like an intake of dopamine. You can take advantage of this effect with new hobbies, for example when you are learning a foreign language and building on a certain vocabulary: piece by piece you add to what you already know and enrich it. But a redesign of your home, different lighting, new colors or decorations can produce similar effects.
Sometimes people still have a hard time figuring out what is causing the problem. Even if you are one of them and despite all these tips do not know why you often feel empty, then it is important to Do not give up.
Well-trained therapists can help you find the cause. That can be a long and challenging process be but worth it.
The alternative might still be one Addictive behavior. Those who face their problems, on the other hand, have the chance not only to recognize the causes, but to eliminate them and, in return, one full life to get.
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