Sex is physically difficult for fat people

Relationship problem: when bad sex becomes a reason for separation

Christian Thiel studied philosophy and German and has been advising singles and couples in his own practice for over fifteen years. He also organizes workshops and individual coaching for partner seekers and has published several books on the subject. In all this work around love, lust and the lack of both, he is repeatedly confronted with questions from those seeking help - the spectrum ranges from “Why is she criticizing me so much?” To “Is he a psychopath”. He answers these questions on his blog - the answer to one of the most common ones, namely the one about a better sex life, can be found here:

Problem: No tension, no erection

I, female, am 30 years old and have been in a relationship for a year. Unfortunately, we rarely have sex, actually right from the start. I lack the passion in my partner, the desire to discover and feel the other. There is also hardly any tension, and often he does not have a stable erection. My partner always wants to do justice to other people - maybe that also plays a role. I'm really afraid that in the long run the lack of sex life will ruin our relationship.

This is what Christian Thiel says:

For many couples, especially at the beginning, sexuality is the litmus test of the quality of the relationship. If the sex goes bad or mediocre, doubts arise. I can understand that. A partnership without erotic tension is not viewed as a proper partnership by most people. And so I share your concern that the lack of sexuality you may feel can destroy your relationship.

In addition, you are both at a critical point. A year after they met, a relationship either becomes stable - or it becomes unstable. If both partners are still enthusiastic about each other, the partnership becomes more stable. But if that is not the case, then it may well be that all of this turns out to be a big mistake. The whole falling in love quickly subsides again. The relationship wasn't at all. It was just an attempt at a relationship. And the search for a partner starts all over again.

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