What happens when two narcissists split up

Breaking up with a narcissist

How can I break up with a narcissist?

You are worth loving In a relationship with a narcissist, however, that will never be the case. Therefore, part with him before you take any more damage. Your energy is too precious to be wasted on someone who doesn't appreciate you and can't really feel for you. You should prepare yourself well for the breakup and the possible consequences, because in order to get through it, you have to gather all your inner strength and give the narcissist counter:

Try to understand what makes a narcissist tick.

As incredible as it sounds, a narcissist cannot feel love. He sees himself as the center of life around which everything else has to revolve. Once you have seen through his scam, you will not easily fall for his ensnarments and you can better let his insults ricochet off you. Because out of his inner desperation that someone opposes his will, he will reach deep into the bag of tricks of manipulation.

Find outside support in advance.

From people who give you strength to get through the separation. This can also be the help of a therapist. It is important that you are not alone and can talk to someone about the breakup.

Strengthen your independence.

Because you've lived in addiction long enough. Once you put the breakup into action, you should stand on your own two feet. Because that's the only way you can break away from a narcissist. If you can lead a self-determined life, he has nothing left to put pressure on you.

Don't think too long about the breakup.

As soon as you realize that the relationship is toxic and harms you more than it inspires you, you should end it and regain your freedom. Draw the line, even when it's tough. Because you will never get the love you want so much from a narcissist. He is unable to reciprocate your feelings and will use you as a plaything over and over again. So end the relationship and be prepared that he will pull out all the stops to destroy you. Because if he can't get what he wants, he'll take out his own frustration and insecurity on you.

Prepare to relapse.

As soon as you have expressed your wish for a breakup, a narcissist will present himself from his / her good side again. Then it is often difficult to resist the oaths of love and attentions. So relapses are very common during the breakup process. But these niceties are short-lived and will wear off again as soon as the narcissist has cast a spell over you again. Therefore be prepared for it and stand firm, even if it is difficult for you.

Be aware that breaking up with a narcissist can take a long time. It can even take years for you to finally loosen up. But if you have realized that the relationship is destructive and has no future, you can free yourself step by step from the clutches of your partner.

What happens after breaking up with a narcissist?

Once you have finally broken up with your narcissistic partner, you need time to heal your wounds. They can be very deep, depending on how long and intense the relationship was. Years of emotional and perhaps physical abuse cannot be forgotten overnight. Therefore, you should take a lot of time for yourself to process what you have experienced and find new strength:

Strengthen your self-confidence.

You have been kept small by your partner long enough and repeatedly insulted you as worthless. Of course, after the relationship, it is difficult to rebuild a new sense of self-worth. However, this is an important step in order to lead an independent, self-determined life and to emerge from the relationship stronger.

Find yourself.

You spent a long time trying to please your partner. You played by his rules and put yourself in the background. You were dependent on him and could not develop individually. But now it is time to be an independent person again, to recognize your needs and to do everything that gives you strength, strength and joy in life.

Let help you.

Talk to other people about your feelings and your injuries. Psychotherapy is a way to end years of abuse on the side of a narcissist. The renowned psychologist and narcissism expert Bäbel Wardetzi offers an online course on the subject of "Get out of the narcissism trap", which you can start quickly and easily at any time.

Know the causes.

It is also important to recognize why you keep falling for this type of person. Because if you have just mastered the breakup, you shouldn't plunge into an unhealthy relationship again. We often follow a certain pattern that needs to be broken. Self-doubt and feelings of inferiority often have their roots in the past and are usually the reason why some people allow themselves to be abused by a narcissist for a long time. Here psychotherapy helps to identify and analyze the causes.

Give yourself enough time to recover from the relationship. Don't rush into the next adventure right away, but enjoy your freedom, in which you can finally be yourself again.