Why do narcissists triangulate

What makes dealing with narcissists so dangerous

Narcissists are a threat to your sanity. The most dangerous thing about them is that most of the time the victims of narcissistic abuse are unaware of the abuse.

A narcissist can operate very covertly and charmingly and use different roles for his games in order to confuse his victims. Narcissists get real energy boosts when they can intentionally harm others. They are therefore looking for people who are easily injured and who thus serve as a source of supply.

Typically, narcissists use multiple stages to break their victim and make it codependent on them. These stages are:


The narcissists make sure that they are something like the prince charming on a white steed for their victims. In the beginning, play this game also known as love bombing. For this they dedicate themselves to you with all their time, attention and sometimes with their money. You become dependent on these perfect manners and thus also dependent on them.


Once the narcissist hooks you, he'll humiliate you to get the impression that he's better than you. The aim of this phase is to break yourself so that you no longer leave the narcissist. You will get caught up in self-doubt and constantly wonder if you are still good enough at all. Slowly but surely, your self-esteem will erode. At this point, the narcissist likes to use two additional methods. Triangulation and gas lighting.

  • Tringulation is used to make you feel that you are in competition with other people (e.g. another woman or man). To be clear right away: Narcissists are NEVER loyal. Emotionally or physically, they will always cheat you in some way. With triangulation, they want you to become jealous and fight harder for the narcissist's attention. The narcissist plays this game because they want you to chase after them.
  • Gaslighting is used to make you think that everything is your fault. He cheated on you? Oh, that was your mistake because you weren't there for him enough. Did he lie to you? Ahh, that was just because you are so hard to talk to. Does he knock you down when he talks to you? Well, you should have taken better care of yourself, then he shouldn't have said the obvious. No matter how ... it's always your fault.

The offense:

This is the final stage in the narcissist's relationship cycle. The goal of the narcissist is to get as much fuel out of you as possible. He will "put you down" when you are completely on the ground and have no strength to meet his needs. Actually, the victim should be grateful to finally be cast out by the narcissist. Because this very hard breakup finally makes you fully aware of all the pain and your injury. He will draw a lot of power from realizing that he is the cause of all of your pain.

To make matters worse, some narcissists start over with their relationship cycle with a lying victim. The technology used for this is called "Hoovering" (named after the Hoover vacuum cleaner brand). They try with all their might to "suck" you back into their lives and say many nice and good things that affect their victims. But at the end of the day, a narcissist will NEVER change. He will abandon you once, twice, three times ... and never regret it.

If narcissists carried a sign that said, “I lie to people about who I am. All I want is to hurt others for pleasure. ”Then they wouldn't be such a big threat. At least people would see more clearly who is standing in front of them.

But because they are such good liars, they are very dangerous for many people.

Categories General, Narcissism, PsychologyTags Humiliation, Idealization, Offense