Why do people always ignore me

Crazy context That is why we lag behind people who ignore us

You swear to yourself and tell anyone who would like to hear that you will not call, write or send a text message. And it is completely impossible for you to visit the person at work or at home. Your friends are already wondering about your behavior and will do whatever they can to encourage you to stand firm and not contact your ex. But against your better judgment you end up writing! And not just once or twice - no, over and over again.

Actually, your thoughts revolve around your ex-partner all the time, right? It's shameful, but it seems like you can't stop it, like it's gotten out of control.

You should pay attention to this with your next partner!

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Why you have to keep writing

It is very painful to learn that you are not nearly as important to the other person as they are to us. Again and again we write, call, and drop by the workplace. It increasingly drains your self-esteem when you notice that you are no longer interesting for the desired person. Boring questions accompany everyday life and not only demand a lot of life energy, but also noticeably limit the joy of life in the long run. "What's wrong with me? Why am I not enough for him? Am I not important?" Questions like these not only affect our self-worth, they also steal our valuable life. Because instead of enjoying beautiful moments in the here and now and looking ahead, we remain in a kind of endless loop in the past and are constantly in our carousel of thoughts.

It is very clear and painfully noticeable that we should let go of people who ignore us. But that's exactly what is really difficult in this situation. The reason is that the heart and mind are involved, but they tend in different directions. The mind sees the value that this person, who is becoming more and more aloof, has for us. The heart, however, is less and less able to ignore the feelings of pain and rejection.

Find a chance for your relationship during this special time

Letting go from a psychological point of view

Why we behave in this way is explained in psychology with a behavioral process called the "extinction defiance". It describes a phenomenon where a previously learned behavior - writing to the person you love - temporarily increases when the other person's behavior stops - the person you love ignores your text messages because they broke up.

The fact that we first strengthen our behavior by seeking more frequent contact after the breakup is an attempt to regain the previously experienced, now past behavior of the loved one. If the hoped-for behavior of the other person does not occur by ignoring us, our attempts to make contact continue to decrease until they finally stop completely.

The good thing is that you are already taking the first step in this direction if you continue to write or call your ex, even though you know that you shouldn't do that. If your ex never answers or gives you other forms of reinforcement, after a while you will likely stop contacting him. To get to this point, however, you have to get through this difficult time of extinction defiance first.

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