Does love really exist?

Does Unconditional Love Really Exist?

Unconditional love exists, but is it our wishful thinking? Today we invite you to think about it with us.

Last update: 07 November, 2020

Quite a few people assume that unconditional love is the purest and noblest feeling in the world. Love does not ask for anything in return and accepts the loved one for who they are. She knows no boundaries and no distance. But there are unconditional Is it really love or is it just a pipe dream?

Herman Hesse was of the opinion that if you can love well, you will always win in life. But what does “to love well” mean? Are we talking about unconditional love? There is no answer to this question, but there are many more thoughts that we will discuss in more detail below.

Many agree that a relationship built on unconditional love can be dangerous. Those who love limitlessly can recklessly cross borders, which can have negative consequences. Because often your own identity and self-esteem are at stake.

Is Parental love the best example of unconditional love? While this is a nice thought, sometimes children are narcissists and ask parents for much more than love. What if the child is disrespectful and behaves in a tyrannical manner? Does parental love have to understand and forgive everything?

Psychologists place great emphasis on differentiating between love as a feeling and love in a relationship.Love and living with a loved one are two very different things.

“Unconditional love really does exist in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is less of an active emotion than a state of being. It's not "I love you" for one reason or another, not "I love you when you love me". It's love without a reason, love without an object. It's just a lingering in love, a love that involves the chair and the room and permeates everything around you. The thinking spirit goes out in love. "
Ram Dass

Unconditional love and relationships

So is there really unconditional love? The answer is yes, but it's not that simple. The neurosciences give us fascinating and surprising insights. By the way: Scientists believe that the brain absolutely has to experience love!

The brain and unconditional love

Dr. Mario Beauregard and Dr. Jerome Courtemanche of the University of Montreal in Canada did a very interesting study on unconditional love. They found that unconditional love has the same neural mechanisms as addiction processes. There is a reward system that is controlled by dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, oxytocin, and vasopressin.

Unconditional love is similar to romantic love. There is a mix of absolute passion, devotion, attachment, and intense affection. In a way, the brain is designed to experience this kind of intense love. However, the rational part of your brain forces you to set limits.

Love is one thing, relationships are another

Let's not forget that unconditional love at the end of the day is a feeling. Relationships themselves fall into a different category.

As you probably know firsthand, love isn't the only thing that matters in romantic relationships. If you don't have good communication with your partner, it doesn't matter how much you love each other. If you don't have compassion or respect for one another, love is not enough to keep the relationship going.

This leads to conflicting and often painful situations. You may love someone very much, but you will understand that you will never be able to relate to them.

I love you unconditionally, but I know I should let you go

So it is possible to love someone unconditionally and without limits. However, sometimes this type of love is very painful. Sometimes you know that you are blindly in love with the completely wrong person, so you let them go for your own good, no matter how hard it is.

Just because you let go of her doesn't mean you can move on without any problems. You know you are better mentally and emotionally, but you still feel that unconditional love. Unfortunately, these feelings can linger even after the relationship ends.

To love well means to set limits and conditions

Borders are healthier and more important than you might think. Sometimes this is difficult to deal with, but overall they improve relationships and keep everyone happier.

Unconditional love is real, we know that. However, you need to carefully model them to suit your relationship. Understand that there are boundaries and conditions in love. This also applies to raising children.

You can love your children deeply, passionately, infinitely ... they deserve it too! However, that doesn't mean that your children can act as they want and that you have to come to terms with fits of anger and screaming. In relationships, not everything works, not everything is valid. To get along with people, you have to respect the boundaries they set. Love and boundaries are not mutually exclusive. If you respect the boundaries, love will still be there, ready to offer protection and comfort.

You might be interested in ...