How can people be so cruel

The unreflective honesty of children, especially up to the age of 6, can also have unpleasant effects. For example, when it comes to another child being affected by statements that hurt them. Something like: “You're fat” or “Your protruding ears look stupid” can unsettle the affected child and it may happen that they withdraw internally or try to differentiate themselves in another way.

Helga Pata, qualified pedagogue, Montessori pedagogue, sensory integration pedagogue and Pikler pedagogue I.A. from the Parent Child Center Klein & GROSS Wels knows: “The little ones never mean that bad, they are not cruel. They only deal with each other very naturally and you don't mince your words when it comes to other conspicuous features that are then openly addressed. "

If parents notice that their child is affected by such unpleasant expressions, they have various options. Pata says: "Primarily, you strengthen the child by addressing the problem, telling the child that you are there for them and that you love them unreservedly." This is not about relativizing the actual problem, such as being fat, but rather about giving the child a feeling of security and also teaching him how to deal with such situations. It should be pointed out to the child that on such occasions it is best to make it clear that they do not want to. "Stop - I don't like that! Stop it! ”Best accompanied by a clear gesture - such as an outstretched hand. This shows confidently and clearly that the child does not want to hear statements of this kind. “As a parent, one must above all listen, accompany and understand. 'I understand that you are offended - that is really mean'. Such supportive words can help a lot. ”Also reassuring them that you love them for who they are.

If the child still does not manage to distance himself and suffers more, the parents must intervene. For example, you can offer your daughter / son to talk to the other child. Another way would be to inform the teacher if the child is being looked after in a kindergarten or a similar institution. They too can then help to get the problem under control.

If parents no longer know what to do and their child is becoming increasingly isolated, a family counseling center is recommended, which can provide initial information.