Why is it bad to be proud?

Many conflicts arise from pride

Last update: 26th August, 2019

There are no definitive categories or absolute definitions of pride, and everyone understands it slightly differently. Psychology recognizes two types of pride, a positive and a negative. Positive pride is also called self-esteem or self-confidence, while negative pride is called arrogance. The former is necessary to feel safe and balanced, to appreciate yourself and to find your place in life. That is very healthy. The latter is the one that separates us from others and one of the most common triggers for conflict.

The negative side of pride is the excessive appreciation of oneself and one's meritswhich makes such proud people feel superior to others. This kind of pride keeps you from recognizing and correcting your mistakes and from showing humility.

Modesty, the opposite of pride, allows us to be open, flexible and receptive to new things. People who are too proud complain a lot about other people, situations, the weather, the country, and so on. All because of their inflated ego. This inevitably leads to some kind of conflict.

"If we don't moderate our pride, it becomes our worst punishment."

Dante Alighieri

When pride turns into arrogance

Arrogance is the idea that one is above the other. It is a sense of superiority that leads a person to boast about their qualities or ideas and minimize those of others. Pride can turn into arrogance when man becomes too vain.

Feeling superior every time you compare yourself to others can paradoxically lead to an inferiority complex. Because it can have the consequence that this person always tries to prove that he is right and that his merits, strengths and achievements are the best.

These people can be very intolerant of other ideologies, insist on their perspective and do not allow anyone to give them new input. Their ability to recognize themselves is very poor; they find it extremely difficult to apologize or change. They don't even think about changing because they believe that their view of life is the only right one.

Arrogant people are emotionally cold and aloof. It is very difficult for them to forget an insult. These characteristics affect their interpersonal relationships.

“A proud man always looks down on things and people; and of course you can't see what's above you if you just look down. "

Clive Staples Lewis

Use honesty to overcome your pride

Honesty can be very painful at first, but in the long run it is very liberating. It allows us to face the truth. In terms of who we are and how we connect with our inner world. And this is where the path to emotional wellbeing begins. Cultivating honesty has many therapeutic effects.

First of all, it reduces the fear of getting to know yourself and facing your dark side. It also prevents you from wearing a mask to please others and be accepted by your social and work environment. At the same time, you won't succumb to the temptation to sweep your emotional conflicts under the rug.

Honesty gives us the strength to question ourselves and identify lies and temptations that threaten us from within. The more honesty you bring into your life, the more the negative pride will go away. This is when you no longer feel like you have to play a role and maintain the image of someone who you are not.

"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom."

Thomas Jefferson

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